“Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.” —Oprah Winfrey
I. The Little Girl
As a child, I was thankful when my Gong-gong took us to buy sweets, but little me would never have guessed the power gratitude can bring to life.
Since I branched out into lifestyle medicine, my clinical approach has included gratitude journalling and getting my patients into the habit of reflecting on the day before they fall asleep.
I can report with pleasure that thinking of even one thing you are grateful for that happened during the day can mould you to achieve better physical and mental health.
The recent extension of the MCO to help fight the COVID-19 pandemic has brought many worries to the table. Economic free fall, tightened budgets, prolonged physical and emotional separation.
Perhaps an expression of gratitude may help us endure these challenges a little easier. Maybe - by reflection - we could fully realise the peace, rest and comfort we ourselves have at home while Front-liners brimming with courage forge the warpath ahead.
Gratitude gives us appreciation for what we already have. And as we start to count and note down our blessings, our focus shifts off what we do not have - which weeds out dissatisfaction and lets happiness bloom.
II. The Lab of Life
Conversations with my patients aside, a study from three American universities* shows that when people write down three things that went well each day (and why) for one week, they experienced positive effects one month later. Researchers found the people involved happier, with less depression - even up to six months after they stopped their gratitude journal.
Separate research** in 2011 showed lower levels of depression and improved well-being in people who wrote letters of gratitude - sparking interest in helping people with depression through expressive writing.
And the magic of gratitude isn’t just for mental well-being. Work done in the University of California^ examined links between gratitude and diet. It seems that consistently spending a few minutes a day writing down positive experiences (e.g. writing a gratitude letter) helps people make healthier food choices over time.
III. The Coming Days
March 18, 2020 - Our jet-fighter lives slammed into the wall of the Movement Control Order giving us all concussions of perception.
Where before there wasn’t time enough to wipe the remains of breakfast off our chins (let alone stop and reflect on our blessings), we were now perched on the verge of unending desert dunes of time.
The bigger and better things we steered ourselves to in prior days vanished - a mirage of memory. Yet in these few weeks, I know some of us have realised that we no longer need many of the things in our lives. Some have become a burden.
The things we own do not necessarily bring joy or peace in my life, but often do the exact opposite.
Our Rukun Negara shows us to be a nation of faith in God. Yet many of us are discontent, seeking to dull our discontentment with the pursuit of material things. Society’s culture and advertisements get loaded with the blame, but in truth - the daily choice to consume lies within our own discontented hearts.
Society will not change unless we make the change ourselves. I’ve tried to paraphrase it - but Mohandas Gandhi said it far better than I ever could: “Be the change you wish to see in the world.”
“Be thankful for what you have; youll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.” —Oprah Winfreyace and rest as the earth shakes in the shadow of the SARS-CoV-2 virus.
IV. The Darkest Hour
Gratitude assigns worth and praise to those who have given to us generously. These past weeks, those of us who stayed home are thankful to the front-liners who brave danger to feed us, and to care for our sick.
Those of us who are front-liners ourselves are thankful to the others who stay home, respecting the MCO to flatten the curve - and to those who have opened their hearts (and wallets) to liberally give to hospitals and the needy.
By now most of the world knows we are at war. Not for the first time, against an unseen enemy -nor will this time be the last. But scattered along the front-lines, in the fields and in the hills, is hidden courage and love - enough to be thankful for.
This may be our darkest hour. But a friend of mine once said, let there be light.
Your Gratitude Journal
Write down five things you are grateful for in the morning for a positive start to your day.
As you fall asleep at night, think of one thing you were grateful for during the day. Let it lift you up and carry you into a deep and peaceful sleep. Write it down in the morning.
(These are just one way to help you remodel your heart with appreciation and love over time)
* The Universities of Pennsylvania, Rhode Island & Michigan
** The Journal of Happiness Studies, 2011
^ The Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 2019
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